Anyone ancient enough to remember the days before cellphones, before google, mapquest, or GPS existed? We had actual paper maps that were a pain in the ass to fold? I moved to Arizona on June 22nd, 1997, drove down in my 1978 Datsun B210 (MUSTARD yellow, by the way), with no air conditioning. This was LONG before I had my own road map to find true love.
All my cassette tapes melted in the front seat the very next day. If you haven’t experienced summer in Arizona, and you’ve always wanted to know what it was like, here’s a similar situation. Perhaps you have done some baking before. You know when you want to check to see if your food is cooked, and you open the door and put your face down there a little too fast and it feels like your eyebrows just got singed off? That’s what summer in Arizona feels like.
But I digress…
When I got here I bought a big map of the Valley, I answered help wanted ads, and set off to job interviews. I mapped each address out, took one turn at a time, did lots of U-Turns, and sometimes had to stop at a gas station for directions. When I would arrive, most people would look at me (since I was dripping with sweat) and ask, “Are you OK? Do you need some water?” Even though I got off course, I still got there eventually. No matter how many wrong turns, and no matter how long it took, I still arrived!
PS, it’s not fun to be in Arizona with no AC in the summer.
We don’t need paper maps anymore, but in order to reach any destination you have to put in the address. The GPS will take you there no matter how many wrong turns you take. So if you want to find love, where do you go? What route do you take? You follow your soul mate list! Your list of everything you want your partner to BE is your road map to find true love. You feel like you’ll be alone forever or you will never find love again, read your list. Do one thing.
Taking action toward becoming the person you want to attract brings you one step closer to that person! And if you get off course with a bad dude or crazy b*tch, go back to your map! Or listen to Siri. What does she always say? “Calculating route.” That b*tch is always recalculating my routes…she never knows what’s she’s doing. She annoys me so much I changed Siri’s voice to the dude with an English accent.
I found true love at age 40 after I became obsessed with becoming the person I wanted to attract. I wrote down everything I wanted in a husband into the notes in my phone and read and edited it on a daily basis. I believe this list to be your road map to find true love.
As soon as I stopped looking as “bad” dates as disappointments and decided to be a student, everything changed. If you look at every person you date as a teacher, you can learn so much! In every teacher is an opportunity to update your soul mate list and adjust your route. When one teacher steers you off course, just refer back to your list and recalculate your route!
One teacher was super fun but always got wasted every time we were together. Well, that’s not going to lead me to my soulmate. I have a “tendency to overdo things”, so I can’t be around people who always party because I’ll join right in! I mean, sure, I’m all for having fun and overindulging if I feel like it, especially if it’s been 3 months since my kids went to their Dad’s house. Mama needs breaks and she’s allowed to go out and have fun when she wants to! But if a teacher only wants to party when he is with you, chances are, he’s not someone who will enhance your life, be a great role model for your kids, nor make you want to be a better person. So, get your party on with your girlfriends and get back on course! You want a husband that is kind, go back and turn right at Kindness Street. You want someone who is healthy, turn left at the gym and get a work out in. You want someone generous, turn right and go to your friend’s house who is having a bad day. Give someone an hour of your time that needs a friend.
This is especially important after a bad date or if you are sad after a breakup. Believe me, I know that some teachers can be DOOZIES to get over. You might think I talk a big game and was never sad or angry, but that’s not even close to the truth. That’s why I had to keep practicing these strategies over and over, every day. Healing is an every day practice. I was devastated many times in the seven years I was single. I’m not even sure why I was devasted – I think it was just that I thought the teacher was different than he really was, and then I felt stupid for thinking that he was amazing and awesome. Like I shouldn’t have been sold that easily. I “should have” seen the signs. Well, that thinking will help you have really angry thoughts and some not-so-fun evenings. I know. I’ve done this to myself. But different thinking and focusing inward about how I could improve so I could stop attract teachers that, for instance, don’t have a serious bone in their bodies got me out of that funk. I got back to turning inward and asking myself, “What can I do to improve?” I had to look in the mirror and tell the truth: If you’re attracting someone who drinks too much, then obviously, you’re drinking too much.
I wanted a husband that loved to come see me sing, and wanted to go to other concerts with me too! I love love music myself, but I wanted a husband that supported me and actually enjoyed hearing me sing classical music. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I went to as many concerts as I could, and I performed in tons of concerts as well. Four days after my last first date, I told my now husband that I had a concert in Austin that weekend. He said “I want to go!” and bought a plane ticket that second (it cost $1000) and flew to Austin to see me sing two days later. I kid you not. He hadn’t even heard me sing before and had no idea what I sounded like. Lucky for me he didn’t think I sucked!
Using your soulmate list as a road map to find true love is one of the strategies I used for attracting my soulmate. I know that using some of these strategies to keep my focus on becoming the person I wanted to attract is the reason why I found love after divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, and after my car got repossessed, and I had two kids to raise alone, and I had $30,000 in IRS debt. None of those things matter. You can find love after divorce, you can find love after 40, you can find love after 50, you can find love after 60. If you think it’s too late to find love, you’re right. As long as you believe that statement, it will be true for you. But if you tried some of these strategies and changed your focus from what you have believed in the past to what COULD happen if you tried something else, I think you’ll find you could believe that it’s not too late to find love. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter what your current circumstances are, it only matters what you focus on. It only matters that you find ways to create love today.
Create love in your life the way it is right now and focus on becoming that person you long to be with and you long to spend all your extra time with. That will make you a magnet for true love! Just be patient. What do you have to lose?