Let’s face it, holidays can be hard for single mommas. Even Mother’s Day. Your kids may be out of that stage where their cute teachers have them make an adorable keepsake for you. You might not have anyone showering you with gifts or cards, or even saying “thank you” for all you do. But if we really want to, we can still find love and joy on Mother’s Day, just like we can create love and joy and gratitude any day!
Shortly after my divorce, my parents moved to my town. I live in Arizona and they lived in New Mexico until my divorce was final. They never told me this, but I found out later that moving to my town wasn’t their plan, even thought they pretended they were planning to move here all along. Reality was, they came to save me. My kids were two and four years old when my ex and I separated. So after my parents moved closer to me, I made the decision that all subsequent Mother’s Days, were going to be about MY mom. And when I’d go over to see my parents on Mother’s Day, my dad always gave me flowers (it makes me cry thinking about it). He was trying to make up for the fact that I didn’t have a husband to spoil me, or anyone to make me feel special on such a special day.
You might be saying, “That’s great for you, but I don’t have anyone. I’m alone.”
Here’s the thing: as thoughtful and amazing as that kind gesture was from my dad, it’s not anyone else’s job to “make” us feel special. Joy comes from within. Love comes from within.
We are also God’s children. As God’s children, He wants for us exactly what we want for our children. He wants us to have joy and cherish the essence of what makes us unique and amazing! So, what if we chose to put our focus on what we have accomplished so far instead of what we think we are missing?
What if we chose to change our focus to the person we are becoming?
What if we looked back and reflected on the last year since the last Mother’s Day and wrote down all the wins? (P.S. I make writing my wins part of my morning ritual. Helps me start the day on a positive and powerful note. And, I created a workbook that might help if you don’t know where to start! It’s called the Ultimate Love Strategy Workbook and you might love it!
What could happen if you became the love you seek and you give yourself the love that you need while you’re in this single season?
What if each Mother’s Day we put our focus on ALL mothers? Celebrate each other all day long and send kind messages of support and love?
We would all love that. God would love that. Celebrate how hard we are working and celebrate the fact that we are so blessed to have children (even though they don’t seem like a blessing most days) God is with us, and God is guiding us every step of the day. Do you think He wants us to feel bad on Mother’s Day? No. He knows how hard we work. He knows it’s a thankless job. He knows how we feel. He wants us to feel loved. He wants us to celebrate what we have done and all that we are – exactly what we want for our children.
We can create joy and love. You can create more happiness by doing one little thing to serve yourself. Serve mama so mama can feel better and have more energy to be the best version of herself for her kids. Self care is critical and totally do-able (even at home)!
I’ll never forget when I was just starting to homeschool my kids and I was taking to my sister, worrying about screwing it all up and screwing my kids up for life. She stopped me mid-sentence and said:
“You. Will. Be. Guided.”
I was speechless.
I heard years ago that prayer is us talking to God, and our intuition is God talking to us. We will always be guided to the next right thing as long as we are still enough to feel and hear what our intuition (God) is telling us to do.
Well, maybe this Mothers’s Day, you will be guided to the nail salon to get a manicure. Maybe you will be guided to take a nap! Maybe you will be guided to take an hour and read and relax, or run a bath!
Miracles happen when we get crystal clear on what we each need, and then realize that we deserve some grace. Even though we may not have anyone giving us gifts or making us feel special on Mother’s Day, we can give ourselves the gifts that we need. You want your children to feel whole and complete and loved and secure and safe and rested, right? Right! So take a moment and think about what God wants for their mama!
Help each of your precious daughters to remember that although they are parenting alone, You have not left them nor forsaken them.
And I’d love to know what you’re doing to take care of yourself this Mother’s Day. Be sure to connect with me on Instagram to let me know (and you can sign up to receive my weekly newsletter below)!