I’m not a huge sports fan perse…I wasn’t planing on watching the Super Bowl. I only really care about the commercials. But I thought since it was February it’d be a good day to take down my Christmas decorations while the game was on. However, I have tremendous respect and admiration for incredible athletes and we can learn so much from them. What they are able to do is insane. I watch them in awe, and I was really excited to see Kansas City win the Super Bowl and accomplish something this huge with a rookie quarterback—Patrick Mahomes. When this 24-year old kid got on camera and explained how they did it, it struck me that his answers are the same answers for any goal we want to accomplish – including a relationship goal.
When the news anchor asked: How did you do it?
His first answer was faith.
“Keep having faith in your eyes”.
I struggled so much with faith. I’m about to head out of town for John and my 4th anniversary and it brings me back to all the years of suffering I put myself through because I didn’t have faith. I didn’t believe that there were any good guys. I thought I was just going to be alone until my kids went to college.
And we had a good life. You don’t NEED a man to have a good life, but having a really strong healthy marriage enhances every other aspect of your life. But back then, I didn’t know that from experience. I couldn’t get over my divorce, and I blamed ALL of my unhappiness on my ex-husband and everything he “did to me”. I blamed everything on him. The fact is, I was playing the victim. I wasn’t taking responsibility for my own actions, and I was being extremely self- destructive. I used to put my kids to bed and drink an entire bottle of wine. Every night. Eventually, that got real old. So did having a hangover every morning. I knew I wanted an awesome husband. Although, I loved the years when it was just the three of us. It’s different when they get all of my attention and all of my time. I cherish it! Enjoy your time alone and enjoy all the time with your kids when they are younger. I see kids this age and I wish I had a time machine, just to hear their little voices one more time. But I was overwhelmed being the mom and the dad all the time while running a business and trying to navigate dating. I didn’t truly believe that it was possible for me to attract the real thing. I had to find ways to keep the faith that finding true love after divorce was possible. I started to pray more. I started to write in my journal every morning. I made notes in my phone with all the reasons why it was possible for me to manifest my soul mate. After I met one douchebag, I wrote:
Thank you for being in my life and thank you for helping me clarify the qualities I want in a partner.
I would get on my knees every night and say Thank you, God, for sending me my soul mate. It was my mantra. I repeated this a thousand times a day, at least! Even though there was nothing currently in my life that showed me that he was out there getting ready for me. Nothing in my past was proof that real, forever love was possible. I had never experienced love with a person whose first priority was my well-being. How did I know that it would happen? I didn’t. I just had to find ways to keep the faith that my dreams were put into my heart because they were possible for me.
My favorite quote about faith is this:
Faith is taking the first step even though you can’t see the entire staircase.
Then, 24-year old Super Bowl winner said, “Just one play at a time. 10 yards at a time.” They knew they wanted to win the Super Bowl, but they focused on just getting the next first down. They had laser focus on only the next small goal in front of them.
It’s the same thing with attracting the love of your life. Focusing on one thing you can do today. What one thing can you do today that brings you one step closer to your soul mate? Your soul mate list is your map. I always thought about it in a literal sense. Taking one action today actually brought me one step closer to him. The map was leading me to him, even though he was right in front of me the whole time, and I didn’t know it. He didn’t see me until I had faith and kept taking baby steps every day toward becoming the person I wanted to be.
The 24-year-old quarterback’s next answer on how to win the Super Bowl was consistency. He just keeps his eye on the next ten yards no matter what was happening around him. We’ve seen Tom Brady do this dozens of times. They were down, they had less points than the 49ers, but they didn’t pay attention to the facts nor their circumstances. They only paid attention to the next right thing. Just get the next first down.
I found it amazing last night that there were huge parallels between the way you win the Super Bowl and manifest your soul mate. The first six years I was single I wasn’t consistent with anything. I was a hot mess. Going out and partying, meeting dudes at clubs who had no desire to see me ever again, and if they did, they were con artists who later went to jail for fraud. I just remembered that one. Yikes. A couple years after I saw him last, I googled him and found a mug shot. Good times.
I was drinking way too much, giving up on love, crying myself to sleep every night. I was so frustrated and disappointed. Men used me to get what they wanted, but I wasn’t any different. I wasn’t secure within myself, so I used them to get attention and to feel like I was lovable and desirable.
Then, after my best friend’s wedding I set out on a mission to accomplish this relationship goal of mine and stop attracting all the wrong men. I started to become consistent in my faith and my habits. I did the same morning ritual every morning, which you can download it for free. I stopped going to clubs, I stopped drinking so goddamn much, I prayed incessantly, and I did things that were good for my body, mind and spirit. I focused on being a better mom. When I had a hard day, I got on my knees and prayed. I listened to someone inspiring, I read a book, or I went to yoga, or all of the above. I found ways to be consistent so my habits became, well, the habits I wanted to have! That’s how you attract someone with good habits. I ignored my circumstances and beliefs from my past and worked on improving myself.
Here’s a pic from my 39th birthday. My last single birthday I took my kids to the new Butterfly Wonderland exhibit. I didn’t know that was going to be the last birthday without my soul mate. I just knew that doing the next right thing that day was spending the day with my family. Maybe the next right thing for you is doing one thing that strengthens your current relationships. Maybe the next right thing is to take care something on your boss list.
Creating love today creates love in the future.
After we spent the day with just the three of us we went to see my parents.
The last thing 24-year -old Super Bowl winner said was about his coach. He never doubted. He believed I could do it. He kept telling me to have faith in my eyes.
Surrounding yourself with people who believe in you.
It’s the same thing as winning at anything! A relationship goal is just like any other goal! We need people to accomplish our goals. I had sisters that believed in me, parents that believed in me, friends who kept encouraging me and reaffirming in my mind that I was going to meet him, he was on his way, and God had already chosen him for me. And He had! My soul mate manifested after 17 months of faith, belief, taking baby steps consistently, getting behind, losing the ball, getting it back, getting back up, trying again focusing on just the next right thing and the next right thing. And surrounding myself with only people who believed what I did.