When my kids were little, my house was a disaster. It looked like a daycare. I didn’t care, so I said to myself. Cleaning is not the most important thing in the whole world. And that is true. That is my belief. My kids are the most important thing, and I wanted my home to be a place to play. Especially living in Arizona in the summer, you can’t go outside for more than a few minutes if you don’t have a pool. However, living in said daycare and stepping on hot wheels does not and cannot create joy and peace and calm, and when you are raising kids, any little life hack and that help create a little more joy and calm for mom is necessary and worth it.
I dedicated an entire chapter in my book on creating harmony in your home because I was in denial about how disorder in my life made me feel emotionally and physically. I didn’t realize that disorder and disarray attract even more disorder and disarray into my life. Like always attracts like. Disorder in any area of your life creates more stress and anxiety in all areas of your life. If you can’t find your keys in the morning, you create stress, but if you had ONE place where you always put your keys, you wouldn’t create that needless stress.
Sometimes, we don’t even realize we are actually the CAUSE of our stress. We are causing it. Our mental health (and lack thereof) is the product of our environment and our actions. I found that taking small teeny tiny actions one 15-minute session at a time makes a huge difference in my mental state. We all think we have to make these huge adjustments and change everything about our life, but in reality, small teeny tiny adjustments can make all the difference.
Getting our home in order can be just a simple as clearing the kitchen table before you go to bed. My sister Rachel read my book, and she has 4 kids under the age of 6. She decided her small quantifiable goal would be just keeping the kitchen table cleaned off. Helped her tremendously. One teeny tiny step could be getting all children things out of your bedroom and make your bedroom a sacred space. I talk all about how I created a sanctuary space in this blog.
Move your body!
Getting your home in order is also about the home where your heart, mind, and spirit lives: your body. The best thing about making small quantifiable goals is that one small change you do to help your body changes your mind automatically. I don’t go to the gym early in the morning because I want to. I hate getting up early. I want to sleep in. I love my bed. I never want to leave it. But it’s not about what you want short term. It’s about what you want long term. Taking action changes your mind. I like how I feel when I leave the gym!
But the only way out is through. You don’t get that feeling of accomplishment unless you actually go get’erdun first. You have to find your why and your own reasons. Motivation is not enough on its own.
If your mission is to start a business, raise your kids, finish school, get a master’s degree, or anything else under the sun, the best way to show up in the best way for everyone you love is to move your body. Anyway you like. We love to hike, and we love to walk the dogs along the canal path behind our neighborhood. I love doing yoga but I haven’t done that in months. You don’t have to do anything you don’t enjoy, but find something you enjoy and move it! Have a dance party if that’s your favorite! Moving creates energy so you can show up for your family, study harder work harder, get more done, feel better, and sleep better!
Maximize your morning.
How about your spirit? I have a sacred morning routine I’ve been doing for a few years now. I just listened to Jay Shetty and read his book and I’ve never heard anyone call a morning routine “putting on your spiritual armor.” Brilliant! It’s giving you what YOU need ignorer to do what you need to do. Your mornings are for YOU to get your body mind and spirit ready for whatever comes at you the rest of the day. You are better equipped for battle because you got yourself ready for battle. Some days feel like a battle, amiright? It is! Let’s be real! But there are actions and small teeny tiny steps that can help us conquer some of those battles every day.
I keep adding things to my morning routine as I keep learning new strategies and try new things out. And again, I have to wake up super early to get all of this done. I don’t want to wake up at 4am. I hear you. I’m tired. I’m cold. I don’t want to get out of bed. But I want to feel good. I want to have more patience with my kids and my husband. I want mental clarity. I want the focus, I want enough energy to last the entire day. I want to accomplish my goals, and I want some alone time with my husband. I can only get those things if I wake up, do my morning routine, and get my cold butt to the gym. I have been doing it long enough to finally create a habit. Now I know that the rewards way outweigh the suckiness.
There’s a quote on the wall in my gym that says “Embrace the suck.” That’s exactly what it is! What I’ve seen is that new habits are slightly difficult to create at first, but once it becomes a habit, it’s automatic! If you haven’t read the book Atomic Habits, it’s a MUST READ. You want to get to where your mornings are automatic so you have time to get your own nourishment before you help your kids and do what you need to do for everyone else. They deserve the 100% well-rested version of you, not the running ragged 25% losing your mind version of you.
What are you thankful for?
The best automatic habit I created is just writing down what I am grateful for. When I was single and on a mission to manifest my soulmate, I had a specific gratitude journal, but I don’t like having 97 journals. Then I started writing down the wins from yesterday, started to created that focus on everything I currently had in my life right now, and everything that was going right in my life right now. I had notebooks and journals all over my nightstands.
Now, I couldn’t find a journal/daily planner that everything that I wanted in it, so I created one! Several, actually. I created the Create Love Today Journal for singles who want to focus on calling in the one and attracting their dream husband. It has all the morning rituals I follow now, and what I wish I had done back then, plus a daily planner and all the worksheets and exercises that helped me move on and heal from the past. It’s the best!!
It’s an investment.
It’s an adjustment, but trust me when I say that getting your home in order—literally and figuratively—is one of the BEST investments you can make. Making small, quantifiable goals is your ticket to inviting more peace into ALL aspects of your life—it really is just another journey that can help us start every day with the intention of creating more joy, peace, and clarity, which will, in turn, help us create the life and attract the love we’ve always wanted.
Wishing you all the best,
Changing your limiting beliefs that say it’s not okay to hope for partnership is a daily battle! Luckily, I’ve got an AMAZING sale going right now for my Create Love Today Journal—a daily journal that will help you create the life and attract the love you want. For a limited time, get: the journal for 25% off, free shipping, and a FREE signed copy of my book, “Becoming Mrs. Stanley: The Single Mom’s Guide to Attracting Mr. Right!” Grab it today for you, or as the perfect holiday gift for a friend!