I’m so excited to tell you about my Ultimate Love Strategy Workbook! I’m finally finished with it! It’s for all of you “do it yourself-ers” who want all the worksheets and exercises that I talk about in my book “Becoming Mrs. Stanley” all in one place! It’s a pdf download. You can just print it at home! The Ultimate Love Strategy workbook contains all the exercises and practices that I did while I was single and was working on making myself better and becoming the person I wanted to be. That is exactly how I eventually manifested my soulmate. It has a full instruction guide for each one of the exercises. You don’t have to purchase the pdf. You can do these exercises in any notebook or on any paper. But if you like cute sh*t like I do, I created this workbook for you!
The first page of the Ultimate Love Strategy Workbook is the Morning Ritual sheet, which lays out all the things I wrote everyday. You can print it off as many times as you want. You can download just that sheet for free if you want! This morning routine was a really important practice for me that I still use today. I started every morning writing down what I was grateful for and the successes from yesterday which kept me on track of remembering the things that are going right! Writing down the wins from yesterday helps us remember that we are winning! Next, you have your to do list: “Today I will accomplish…” , your Quote of the Day, and how you will practice self care. I love quotes, I love inspiration, I read them when I get discouraged, I read them every morning, and I follow successful people who post awesome quotes on social media. If they’ve already achieved what I want to achieve then I want to know how they did it! You can find your own quote of the day or find them on my Instagram if you want. I always post quotes because I love them. You just find your favorite one that you can focus on for that day and write it down each morning. Practicing self care is so important because you have to take care of Mom, too. I like to think that practicing self care is teaching the universe A: You deserve to be cared for and B: How it is that you need to take care of yourself. You have to know yourself in order to be able to take care of yourself and if you do one thing everyday, even if it’s just for 10 mins. Something that takes care of Mom then you’re proving to the universe that you deserve it! You deserve to find love and to be loved!
Then first thing that I did after my best friend’s wedding was create a Boss List, and I talked about in the four areas in which I wanted to improve myself, and they were: health, finances, home environment, and my family. It helps you identify everything you want to work on. When I realized I wasn’t going to attract a bad ass husband unless I felt like I was a bad ass, I had to ask myself “Why don’t I feel like a bad ass?” And then I worked thought those things little by little. This worksheet has the instructions and has the 4 categories so you can write your list and work on all those things little by little!
It’s really important to discover what makes you happy! We’re so busy taking care of families and working that sometimes we don’t really know what we each need that truly makes us happy! Sometimes it’s just a book. Sometimes it’s a walk out in nature. What really makes you happy? Write down a list. I kept another list of those things in the notes in my phone for those times when I was feeling down or feeling like I really didn’t want to do anything. When you have a moment (or MAKE a moment) to yourself, or when the kids go to their dad’s house and you have some free time, hey! You can do all those things to feed your soul and your happiness.
Lessons in Love
When I thought to myself “Man, that sucked” or “Men are lame” or “Why are all men such liars?” I felt even worse. Then, I stopped focusing on that and started looking at everyone I had ever dated as a teacher. My focus changed from what I didn’t like to what I learned from them. I believe that every single person that you’ve ever known has taught you something if you really think about it. And if you write it down then you really helps you realize that everyone in your past was put there for a reason! If you focused on what you learned then you’re growing and getting closer to creating more love in your life! Sometimes we learn what we don’t like. If you learned what you don’t want, then write the lesson so you can focus on creating the opposite! For example, if you went on a date with someone who only talks about himself, then you learned that you want a husband who is attentive and cares about what you care about. You want a husband who wants to know everything about you. You want a husband who is selfless. Add these things to your soulmate list! If you haven’t written your soulmate list yet, here are the instructions: Your Soulmate List is your Roadmap
I started writing down and describing the undesirable characteristics that I kept attracting and then found them in myself. I kept attracting liars, and I identified all the times I had not been entirely truthful. Then I could focus on telling the truth more often and attracting honest people into my life! It’s so hard for me to be 100% honest! I hate confrontation! I start shaking and my heart starts racing! But identifying those characteristics I kept attracting, and putting them in writing helped me see a pattern of attracting the same type of man (teacher), different name. I wanted someone honest so badly that I made it my mission to TELL THE TRUTH!!! I failed, time and again. But I just kept trying to talk about how I felt.
For example, one teacher who said he was on a paleo diet (I was, too. Did I say that before he told me that? Probably…) and then he’d eat Taco Bell and throw away the wrappers before he thought I saw them. Gross! I pretended I didn’t see them. I pretended that he wasn’t lying. I pretended he didn’t lie about other things, too, like, “I forgot to text you when I got home. I was too tired.” I’m sure he didn’t make it home at all. Withholding how you really feel is the same thing as lying. It hurts when someone you thought you cared about is deliberately deceiving you. I think about it now, though, and I’m so glad he did! I’m so glad I found out that he was a liar so I could identify how many things I had been lying about, and remember that I would never attract anyone honest unless I was honest about my feelings.
Transforming Limiting Beliefs Worksheet.
This is the longest chapter in my book. The process of discovering your current negative beliefs and transforming them into empowering beliefs takes the most amount of time and patience. The hardest part for me was to identify what I used to believe about men and myself and relationships, based on my past. What we tell ourselves is what we find. If we tell ourselves that we will never meet anyone because we work from home, we will find that every time. When I told myself that men only wanted me for sex, that’s what I kept finding to be “true.” The fun part is, it’s not true. It was my BELIEF.
We will always find that which we actively seek.
So if we can identify what we currently believe, we can find ways to transform them into positive beliefs and attract the man we WANT to attract. This worksheet is a great place to start.
Let It Go.
The last three worksheets in the Ultimate Love Strategy Workbook contain a very powerful exercise that helped me let go of the bitterness I felt from my past experiences. You start by focusing on that one person that gives you that UGH feeling in your gut. It still stings when you think about some of the things that happened. That’s the person you think about when writing this exercise. You do this exercise thinking about only one person at a time. First, you write down everything you appreciate about that person. Next, write down everything you resent. Get it all out! Then you can let them go. The last list you write down is everything that you regret. I’m sorry Mom, it takes two to tango and made some mistakes, which is OK! It’s really magical really when you get this sh*t out and you write it out on paper.
I did this exercise at least six or seven times.
I had no idea how much resentment I was carrying around. When you carry around that anger and resentment, you emanate those feelings whether you know it or not. Every time I went to a bar and I was in “I’m single and I have no kids and I want to party” mode, I always attracted party mode dude who was totally not interested in seeing me again. I was always so confused. I couldn’t figure out why not. It was my energy I was putting out there. Like always attracts like. It wasn’t until I got real with my feelings, got them all out on paper and did these exercises, read them regularly that I could change how I felt. And then I could attract someone who wanted the same thing as I wanted. I could finally attract someone who was loyal and honest and wanted me all to himself forever.
It’s possible mamas.
For years I didn’t think it was possible and I didn’t think I deserved to find true love after divorce until I utilized these strategies and practiced focusing my thoughts on what I wanted to create every day. I want everyone to find love and a partner. You deserve to be loved, to be valued, to be respected, to be with someone who is loyal and honest. This workbook contains all of the exercises I worked on daily and you can do them all at home, whether or not you download the Ultimate Love Strategy Workbook. I just happen to like pretty things, and if you like pretty things, then I made this for you! But you don’t need anything fancy. Just some paper and a pen.
If you haven’t heard about My Love Playlist, and you want another tool in your toolkit, I uploaded it to Spotify fo you! I add to it all the time, and I’d love to get your suggestions! Check out my Spotify today!
Wishing you lots of love!
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